There's not much I can put to coincidence these days. I might even go so far as to say that coincidence is choosing not to see God's sovereign work in His kingdom. Yes, there are exceptions and no, not everything is a "sign". But if there's something that I've found to be more true than ever is the more we are walking with Lord, constantly giving Him our love and listening to His voice, the clearer I see His movement EVERYWHERE. It kinda goes along the lines of, "Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your every blessing and see what God has done." You probably can't say that line without singing it, but how many times are we actually living in 'blessing mode'. I'll give you a very good example. Tonight.
Yesterday afternoon I had epidural number two and a spinal block in a span of 4 weeks. For those not so familiar, it involves a lot of injections in the spine, with a whole lot of up-front pain in order to eventually put a stop to the chronic pain... at least that's one way of looking at it! But the point is, it's not an instant gratification and a bit of a tender recovery. But I arose today at 530am to head to work in the hospital to not finish my day until 730pm tonight. I can too easily give you a laundry list of how life has been kind of hard lately. But I could also sit for 5 minutes, and then give you an even longer laundry list of the 100 ways I was so richly blessed and shown grace after grace in just the last 2 days. He loves His children! It's not just a song, and especially not just for the kids. Yes, I'm exhausted. I hurt. And this doesn't always seem that fair. But I have so much hope. God is just the kind of God who loves to show us time and again how much He loves us and will always keep His promise. I am a child of the King. And this King will always protect His people and do what's best for them.
Coincidence. I don't believe so. I don't believe it is any coincidence that for the past 3 consecutive weeks I have been assigned a patient who's primary problem is suffering from acute or chronic pain. That all three of these patients have had so little hope left for life that they doubt the very person who wants to help them. It takes a load of pretty tough stuff in life to curse out the student nurse over the bad hospital food. How many people over the last several weeks have I heard not want to give me the whole truth in fear I won't believe their pain. That somehow I'm there to call them out and tell them they really don't hurt that bad. And how desperately I want to pour my own story out to them and say, "NO! I believe you! You don't have to lie to me and assume I have no idea!" But often I find myself just listening... and in the end it usually ends with "I'm just tired", "I just want to go home", "I'm just so overwhelmed". One can experience the worst pain, but if you have no hope left, that pain just exponentially multiplied. I know it because I've been there. But most of the time my job isn't to tell my patients my own story. It's to listen, to trust, and to share my hope with another fellow who hurts so bad. It's the least you can and should do if you have walked in their shoes at all. "Hope cannot be taught, but only shared by other hopeful people." (Thank you Prof. Butman)
So no. It is not coincidence that God is working in my everyday life. I didn't realize how much hope I had until I sat with these peers of mine. They're peers. They're so vulnerable to life's miseries when pain masks all joy and all hope. Lord help me not forget the hope I have and the love you share every single day. Evidences of your grace. May my eyes see them so much more clearly. May I never lose hope.
